Saturday, April 25, 2009

dying is fine

So when I wake up on a saturday
and I've slept as long as I can sleep
I think about the day ahead.
It's a day I say goodbye to an old friend.
he used to go to sleep in painted houses & dirty old hotels,
we'd run in parks, we'd drink & laugh,
he told me funny stories and we talked about our lack of will,
our lack of God, our tumble down hills
he lived in castles, he sat upon thrones
bugs crawling thru our hair, sloppy drunk kisses mean nothing
but today, he burns and hearts break
life fades out at a slow pace
you watch like a dream where you're falling & can't scream
if you could, it wouldn't stop it anyway
no matter how you love, it's not enough to
save someone from himself
he just keeps falling down
like a puppet with broken strings
when Tom Waits writes your eulogy
long before you've ever gone
Burroughs lasted 80 years
but he wasn't the lucky one

Thursday, April 23, 2009

i get frustrated...

...with my happiness & I feel like I haven't earned it or don't really deserve it. That is defeating at times, but today, it feels like maybe I am just not used to my life going well and feeling so happy! That I still am not used to being able to lay my head down at night saying "man, that was a good day!" or I actually accomplished what I wanted to accomplish and feel satisfied. I get to do all of these things I love everyday, from the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to bed at night. I love waking up to a little bit of silence, then have a tumble through children waking and a house alive with chaotic get readys and here we gos! Dogs eating, kittys meowing, blue fish circling and mdh makes coffee, there are teeth to be brushed and hair to be combed, then we are off! The day has begun! I enjoy my job, I enjoy being with people.

I'm thinking of Bree tonight.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

lovely osngs tonight

two new songs tonight- one "as the snow fell", the other I can't remember the name of right now, but super cool and I love my band!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

as the snow fell

as the snow fell, she smiled and said to him

"if you eat even one snowflake this year, our whole world will
fall apart."

he said "we're already so far apart."

"fall apart" she said.

& he said "I did."