Monday, April 12, 2010

this morning...

..i have no voice. it started as a slow burn 4 days ago, then it buried itself deep in my chest and festered there, until this morning, where it feels like a deep chest slow burn that Ripley couldn't rip out. Hence, I got to take a break from the drone of working for a large, corporate coffee chain and stay home today. problem is, I have no 3 year old daughter can't hear me, the dogs can't hear me and ironically?, the only thing that calms the burning beast is more burning, so i light a cigarette and drink some coffee. i know both of these things can't be good for my chest or throat, but without sufficient cause to stop, i will probably do both of these things every morning until i die.
the problematics of no voice are not that hard to deal with, unless you are a singer. then it gets tricky. i hope this will go away by tomorrow night- practice night. we couldn't practice last night due to current conditions in my throat. and last week, the same conditions existed in the head and sinuses of matt. i say practice, but what i really mean is play. and what i mean by play is live! there is something about the small room we rent filled with different musical apparatus that lends itself to my life...that lets me release all the hold downs, all the parental responsibilities thru the makes up for all the dishes washed, all the sweeping and mopping, all of the menu thinking and preparing, the frantic pickups and dropoffs, the decisions, oh, the decisions! when i stand in that little room or drape across a chair, waiting for the playback or the hunched over sketchbook writing, mostly the's like all the little locomotives of life are pushed along by this one big engine, reminding me of Gordon, the Big Blue Engine who gets many a small engine out of trouble on the Island of Sodor. Yes, it's a children's book reference...I have read them all many times.

For a time now, a common subject at the dinner table has been the Zombie Revolution. The topic ranges from survival to detailed ways in the bloodshed of Zombies. This can be accredited to a handful of games that Will is currently obsessed with along with the combo of getting "zombieland" in his Easter basket and the occurance on Easter morning of Jesus raised from the dead. It can be entertaining and almost educational with the way Will instructs all of us, but it has also got me prepared am i for the Zombie Revolution? Would I survive longer than my 9 year old son? Do we have enough axes? We don't even own a shotgun! Who would we trust? It truly raises a lot of questions...Will already has a list of rules for himself. I wonder if i, too, should have a list? Would my list resemble Columbus' list in "zombieland"? Obviously, mine would have to be a little different if my whole family is to survive as well. MDH and i will probably have to compromise on some of the rules. I hate to compromise, but I'm getting the hang of it.

Anyway...I am off work today with no voice, so I have a lot of time to think about it. Advil cold & sinus has a fair amount of psuedoephedrine in it, so i know there will not be sleeping involved. Maybe I'll come up with my list. I might just play Lydia and be happy. it seems like a good day to sew, too.

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