Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I do not always know God's plan for me. I have to Trust him with a faithful heart. My heart wants to believe. Sometimes, my head gets in the way. Things happen, like you wake up one morning a week before Christmas and a member of the family is sick and can't move. Her body is telling us it can't keep up with her spirit any longer. and I want to question that.....as if my simple human mind has a better idea. Yesterday, I didn't have a better plan. Unless crying hysterically is a plan. I'm pretty sure it isn't...
Ten years ago, I was going thru a painful divorce. My son was one. I had two dogs I adored, but couldn't take care of. I had to give them to friends. I moved in with my boyfriend in his bigger house in Blue Ash with his two dogs. A lot happened then...I self-medicated and struggled. I missed my house, I felt like a failure and I missed my dogs.
Mocha loved me from the minute I came here. She followed me everywhere! Her sister, Whiskey, was not so accepting. She barked at me, she hid from me, she whined when I was in the room. then she would ignore me. Not Mocha! She went with me to the grocery, she played ball in the yard with me. She was my girl! When I grabbed my car keys, she followed me out the front door and hopped in the car. I never needed a leash, she never ran off. She stayed by my side.She played with Will when he got big enough. She slept in his room. She woke me in the morning with her nose.
You see, God gives me what I need when I need it. It isn't always what I want. Sometimes I don't even know I need it until way after the fact. I am glad he has a plan and that I have stepped out of the way. Even if that plan means Mocha's dog form here on earth has come to an end. How can I deny her Dog Heaven? How can I be angry that she gets to sleep with other DOg ANgels and run around on legs that work? Eat with a tummy that works! Not have weird itchy skin anymore...not be afraid of loud noises and hide in the bathtub...you know, when I think about it this way, what a beautiful plan for her!
I miss my girl this morning. I know she's in good hands. I am thankful for the time I got to spend with her. I love her!
Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." (NIV)